Though there is a version of their name in Hangul, I feel sorry for any international fans trying to search up information about new girl group Episode. Typing “Episode K-pop” into any search engine is going to give you way more random information than you asked for. But listening to their single Open My Door (열어줘), I doubt whether anybody will be inspired to dig deeper into the group. The girls may have potential, but it’s been awhile since I’ve heard a K-pop debut this awful.
In short, Open My Door is an unmitigated mess. On its face, the track presents an utterly forgettable entry in the ever-expanding pool of quirky, trap-influenced girl group pop. Its instrumental might as well have been programmed by an A.I. machine. It regurgitates so many overused trends of the moment, but its lack of imagination renders them completely inert. I can’t pinpoint a single element that makes this production stand out. It’s devoid of energy, personality and effort.
However, what really makes Open My Door a disaster for the ages is the song’s mixing and poor vocal performance. I don’t know what’s going on with the arrangement here. Vocals are either too loud or too quiet depending on the moment, with odd ad-libs and affectations taking place of the central melody. Of course, there is no real melody to be found anyway, so that point is rendered moot.
While writing reviews, I try my hardest not to disparage performers or performances because I know how hard idols work, and musical taste is subjective. However, the vocals here are nothing short of dreadful. They’re off-key, oddly phrased and utterly unconvincing. They also sound like they were recorded in a tin can. I’m not sure what happened here, but Open My Door is its own special level of bad. I don’t think I can point to a single redeeming quality, and that’s rarely the case for me.
Hooks | 4 |
Production | 1 |
Longevity | 3 |
Bias | 2 |
RATING | 2.5 |
Be sure to add your own rating by participating in the poll below!
Ouch. I’m surprised you even reviewed this but I’m guessing it was a slow day. They really forgot to press the autotune button in the recording studio, didn’t they….
This is where I try not to think about the likelihood that their label is a front for some other kind of unsavory activity and churning this out is the bare minimum of effort to keep the facade up.
LikeLike
It was the rare case of this being so bad that I couldn’t resist writing about it.
If I’m not mistaken, this is now officially the lowest-rated song in the history of this site. Oof.
LikeLike
I believe it is. Sheep can breath a sigh of relief now.
LikeLike
At least Sheep was mildly amusing.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Less so if you understand the Chinese lyrics but at least somewhat memorable.
LikeLike
What’s even worse is that I think you were actually pretty generous with the rating lol.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I get that not all companies have the budget or connections for something brilliant , but the CEO, producers, managers and whatnot really listened to this in the studio and thought this was worth releasing?
LikeLiked by 1 person
this joins fly23 and honey on my worst asian pop trio, you were too nice to it. The company’s other songs were atleast generic ballads…
LikeLike
Song quality is very subjective to each person ears, but man…..this song just sounded wrong on technical level
LikeLiked by 1 person
This the first time I’ve seen one of the categories hit “1” on the site and after listening to it…… yikes
LikeLike
It’s so tragically LOL that I know I will love it forevvah. (Actually much more than Sheep or any Noir’s and AB6IX’s tracks) 😀
LikeLike
(Of course I meant BLACK6IX, LOL)
LikeLike
I really feel for these girls. I hope they get out of this situation pdq, without some criminal extorting their families for money.
This is the latest example of how there are too many production companies in kpop who have no business being in the business. The company clearly has no idea what they are doing, and have no money to do it with anyway. Not only is there a low quality song with low quality video, there is also a “showcase” to approximate being on an actual music show, which looks like it is on a coffee house stage, complete with “fan cam” upload.
But is it better or worse than “Sheep”? Luckily we have two options! “Sheep” gets the oof and this gets the doof.
LikeLiked by 2 people
The oldest member was FIFTEEN when she debuted this group in 2015 (EPISODE was originally called Vitamin Angel) so honestly extorting their families wouldn’t be far from the truth
LikeLike
I don’t understand how people or “companies” can have the nerve to promise these young artists fame and fortune when they can’t make their first release decent. The camera quality sucks, the sets are boring, the editing is annoying. The song is just disrespectful to anyone who listens to music. This “company”( who clearly didn’t even have enough money to spend on training these girls) really decided to slap a bunch of trends together and put no love or effort into this noise. The dancing is fine(simple but at least it was in sync), but that’s the only thing that wasn’t terrible.
LikeLike
Nick, I noticed the company name. Have you ever heard of pungdengE? They are( or were(idek)) a three-member group consisting of blue, red, and yellow (yep those are the stage names)). The concept originally was that each member uses their own Korean dialect. They actually have a few songs I like ( as much as I hate to admit it(baechu bossam is my favorite from them). I would love to just see your thoughts on their music.
LikeLiked by 1 person
The whole thing (song, MV, dance, camerawork, editing, sets, etc.) was so bad that it became somewhat captivating. Like how can anyone release something like that under their label and not be ashamed of it?
LikeLiked by 1 person
With something this bad, the only assumption can be that the company is a front for something… probably along the lines of using their “idols” and “trainees” as escorts or something equally disgusting like extorting money from their families. Not in a million years could you convince me that this is a legitimate attempt to debut a successful idol group. Someone please go and extract these poor kids.
LikeLike
I hope that that isn’t the case the oldest member literally debuted in the group when she was 15 and was probably in the company for longer so this means that these people could be literally exploiting minors this is a really disgusting and sad situation, let’s hope their next comeback is better
LikeLike
It is uncommon for an individual to display a burst of pure courage in the face of certain and immanent danger. It is even more rare for that courage to manifest itself into selflessness. Such bravery is truly on display today in the heroism of our host, Nick.
I hope I can speak for everyone when I say “Thank you, Nick”. Your willingness to fall on this grenade to protect others from harm is one for the record books. It is a noble act that is worthy of our respect and adulation. I salute you, sir!
LikeLike
I read this in the voice and intonation of Anton Ego from the last scene of Ratatouille
LikeLiked by 2 people
Bleh, stupid WordPress, reply below.
LikeLike
Rightly so. Anton Ego is the new Morgan Freeman. For it is Anton that said:
“In many ways, the work of a critic is easy. We risk very little, yet enjoy a position over those who offer up their work and their selves to our judgment. We thrive on negative criticism, which is fun to write and to read. But the bitter truth we critics must face, is that in the grand scheme of things, the average piece of junk is probably more meaningful than our criticism designating it so.”
And here, on this blog, we are all critics; no more, no less. We are all waiting for the next ‘average piece of junk’. With Episode’s “Open My Door”, we received an exceptional piece of junk.
LikeLike
Hey, I just wanted to know, since this is the worst rated song on this website.
What is the highest rated song on this website? I would go through all of the songs but there are so many! If there is no way to find out without going through all of them thats fine and you dont have to do that. But it would be really interesting to know.
LikeLike
There’s actually a specific section where you can see every song that’s received a perfect 10! Just head over to Legendary Songs under the Features tab in the menu 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh ok thank you!
LikeLike
My overall: 0/10
Nothing but no more Episode’ “episodes” for all.
LikeLike
They are having a comeback soon will you review that after the fiasco that was Open my Door? Honestly, it would be entertaining to see it if it has a similar quality to this since their other releases are just like open my door
LikeLike
This is honestly the wrong kpop song I’ve heard ever, I’ve heard bad songs but this just? No hate for the girls but omg this is bad. The MV is bad, I doubt the lyrics is any good and the whole song is just dreadful. the only redeeming quality about this song is the dance (Which is surprisingly decent). But yeah xD BP’s HLYT wasn’t great and I thought “It can’t get worse right?” well after actually listening to this song after 7 months of release, yeah
LikeLike
My rating: 1/10
Pros:
N/A
Cons:
No audio mixing
Their voices don’t suit the song
“naaaaAAA”
The instrumental wouldn’t even save the song.
LikeLike
HAHAHAHAHAAH
LikeLike
what happened to these girls? i dont see any other songs from them other than this one on spotify, did they disappear after their debut or something?
LikeLike
They closed the door.
LikeLiked by 1 person
i assumed that would be their fate. im still sad tho, they never got a chance to improve after this song 😦
LikeLike
plus i cant find any songs from vitamin angel (what they previously were before they redebuted). aside from a few fancams of their song summer fairytale, their is no info about them
LikeLike
For funsies, I occasionally go through your reviews of the lowest rated songs here as a small trip to the memory lane, so as I was reading this review, I remember they kinda made a comeback in September 2022! https://youtu.be/lP8TUKVUqM8
I must say that it’s miles better than their debut, although there are slight issues with mixing, but not as bad as this one, and I would love to hear your thoughts! I’d personally rate it either in high-6s or a 7.
LikeLike